Waiter! There is a pen in my soup!

Waiters are being encouraged to collect all the freebie pharma pens they can lay their hands on.

Then, when they get a "problem customer", the waiter makes a "diagnosis" and subliminally suggest some treatment options with the pen they give the customer to sign the check.

It’s all harmless passive aggressive fun. Here are some ideas:

Give a pen that says…….
Zoloft – Good for the obsessive compulsive guy who double checks the bill 5 times. (OCD)
Lipitor – You just had to have extra cheese with that, right pal? (Cholesterol)
Campral – Maybe you should stop drinking. (Alcoholism)
Paxil – Customer eating alone? (Social Anxiety Disorder)
Viagra – Ladies, sick of the old perv staring at your tits? (Erectile dysfunction)
Zyban – For the customer who bitches about the no smoking rule. (Nicotine Addiction)
Ritalin – Didn’t pay attention while I recited the specials? Bastard. (Adult ADD)
Nexium – But you asked for it spicy sir. (Acid reflux disease)
Propecia – You may have money you rude arrogant bastard - but I have all my hair. (Baldness)
Prozac – Shit, everybody needs to be taking this one. (Depression)
Ortho-Evra – For the woman with the bratty kids. (Birth control)
Nameda – For customers who forgot what they ordered. (Alzheimer’s)
Enablex – For customer always getting up to take a piss. (Overactive bladder)
Clozaril – Customer says “Do you know who I am?” No I don’t. And I’ll bet he doesn’t either. (Schizophrenia)
Haldol – For the table that thinks the customer is always right. (Anti-psychotic)
Valtrex - For the resident Don Juan/Skank. (Herpes)
Remicade – What customers will need if they fuck with the kitchen staff. (IBS)
Xanax – Bitch, just chill.

Insider wonders how long it will be before this idea is "hijacked" by a Pharma/PR company as a real part of a viral marketing campaign?


Hat tip: www.waiterrant.net