Looking beyond the spin of Big Pharma PR. But encouraging gossip. Come in and confide, you know you want to! “I’ll publish right or wrong. Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.”
Email: jackfriday2011(at)hotmail.co.uk
Monday, December 04, 2006
From The PharmSide
The Big Spin
1 comment:
Anonymous
said...
The stock market price of Phoni Pharmaceuticals Ltd. fell 113 points against the Matabele Gumbo Bean this morning, following the announcement that it would be suspending all clinical trials of its major development candidate for wealth-enhancement, Tellizanfib.
Following this decision, Phoni Chief Executive, John B. Sinister, said:
“We made the decision to suspend further development of Tellizanfib in response to adverse safety data. Even though we have very little else in our exciting portfolio of R & D products, we nevertheless thought it would be unsafe for me and my colleagues to continue to support the Tellizanfib clinical trials, given the minor but persistent and irreversible side effects (such as death) seen in a number of patients. After all, our safety as Senior Executives is paramount.
This in no way compromises the previous day’s meeting with US senior market analysts at our headquarters in Dry Prong, Louisiana, where we stated that Tellizanfib would receive full and simultaneous FDA and MHRA approval within the next few minutes, that it would form the natural replacement for our current wealth-enhancing drug, Lucrative, and would earn the company $100 billion per year. Instead, we plan to push US Congress to legalise euthanasia, where we envisage Tellizanfib becoming a pivotal therapy in this key market sector.
We now strongly believe that other candidates in our Wealth Enhancement Portfolio, such as Umusbijokin, Pulldeotherone and Makupresultz, will fill the void in our late-phase development portfolio. Give a little whistle….
I would also like to point out that the five million Phoni shares sold by myself and my fellow Phoni directors after the analyst’s meeting were merely part of a routine diversification of our portfolios. Honestly. Trust me. Would I lie to you?”
Phoni stock rallied later in the day following announcements of more site closures, mass lay-offs and random take-overs of smaller companies.
“Despite our set-back with Tellizanfib, it’s business as usual”, said John B. Sinister.
1 comment:
The stock market price of Phoni Pharmaceuticals Ltd. fell 113 points against the Matabele Gumbo Bean this morning, following the announcement that it would be suspending all clinical trials of its major development candidate for wealth-enhancement, Tellizanfib.
Following this decision, Phoni Chief Executive, John B. Sinister, said:
“We made the decision to suspend further development of Tellizanfib in response to adverse safety data. Even though we have very little else in our exciting portfolio of R & D products, we nevertheless thought it would be unsafe for me and my colleagues to continue to support the Tellizanfib clinical trials, given the minor but persistent and irreversible side effects (such as death) seen in a number of patients. After all, our safety as Senior Executives is paramount.
This in no way compromises the previous day’s meeting with US senior market analysts at our headquarters in Dry Prong, Louisiana, where we stated that Tellizanfib would receive full and simultaneous FDA and MHRA approval within the next few minutes, that it would form the natural replacement for our current wealth-enhancing drug, Lucrative, and would earn the company $100 billion per year. Instead, we plan to push US Congress to legalise euthanasia, where we envisage Tellizanfib becoming a pivotal therapy in this key market sector.
We now strongly believe that other candidates in our Wealth Enhancement Portfolio, such as Umusbijokin, Pulldeotherone and Makupresultz, will fill the void in our late-phase development portfolio. Give a little whistle….
I would also like to point out that the five million Phoni shares sold by myself and my fellow Phoni directors after the analyst’s meeting were merely part of a routine diversification of our portfolios. Honestly. Trust me. Would I lie to you?”
Phoni stock rallied later in the day following announcements of more site closures, mass lay-offs and random take-overs of smaller companies.
“Despite our set-back with Tellizanfib, it’s business as usual”, said John B. Sinister.
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