Nutcasis: In Which the Distant Footfalls of Hucksters Can Be Heard

Last week I posted the video clip above.  It showed some of the research going on at the California-based laboratories of Nutcasis Pharmaceuticals, a small company working (so they say) at the cutting edge of new therapeutic developments.

I was (in common, so it seemed, with many of my readers) somewhat sceptical of the claims Nutcasis have made for their work in the sphere of “transcendental photonic molecular realignment” as a treatment for the unfortunate and ultimately fatal condition known as “life”.

I was therefore not entirely surprised to receive a letter from Nutcasis’s CFO, which I reproduce below:

Dear Dr. Beard:

The nature of your blog seems to have taken a turn for the worse with the negative personal attacks on Rick and Tina Methane and other matters related to Nutcasis.  The comments have gone far beyond reasoned scientific debate, skepticism and criticism.  In fact, the overall tone seems to have degenerated into something resembling the Internet bulletin boards of old, with personal attacks, sexual comments and statements that, we hope, may well amount to libel and defamation of character.

No one in the Nutcasis commune has experienced anything so outrageous and unprofessional as the content of your blog site.  OK, I know we don’t read a lot (as the quality of our science shows), so I don't know if the current scientific banter is what you intended for your blog - a forum for honest scientific debate, which we regard as personal attacks.  Not only have you allowed theses attacks to be posted, you have also been selective in posting (screening out) information that would be more favorable to Nutcasis, such as the positive pre-clinical research data that Dr. Rick Methane provided you, showing how transcendental photonic molecular realignment therapy gave people the power to walk through walls and leap tall buildings with a single bound.

We have asked counsel to take a look at what is happening on your blog and the activities by commenters promoted there, and to recommend a course of action

Of course, there’s nothing we can do, but we hope a scary sort of veiled threat might just make you pull you original post and stop pointing out to everyone that we are just a bunch of hucksters.  Everyone at Nutcasis would rather get past this unfortunate situation and spend 100 percent of our time advancing our personal wealth before the suckers we call investors wise up to us.

In that regard, may we suggest that in the best interests of all of the people who are dumb enough to have put money into Nutcasis that you moderate your blog, stop focussing on the scientific debate and instead allow our dedicated team of shysters and snake oil salesmen to continue with our campaign of psycho-babble.  That would seem fair and reasonable, while also keeping the money rolling in before the bubble bursts.

Thank you, in advance, for the consideration. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Buck Methane (no relation)
Chief Financial Officer
I am, as you see, in receipt of your letter of June 9.  Allow me to comment on it, so that we may understand each other.

Your company's claims are so startling, and so far beyond what most scientists would assume to be possible, that you truly have no alternative but to fall into one of those two categories.  A red nose, a fuzzy wig, and floppy shoes are waiting for anyone who makes such claims.  Your job is avoid being fitted for them.  To that end, you do not have to convince me, or any random bunch of people on the internet.  You have to convince the patent offices, the journal editors, and the regulatory authorities.  My advice is to devote your time and effort to that task, and to stop worrying about what people say about you on blogs.

Naturally, one has to be sceptical when a small company makes outrageous claims for the efficacy and safety of a new medicine based on poorly planned trials supported by obviously weighted data and the hiding of adverse reactions, all obviously motivated by fiscal greed.

Such behaviour is, of course, only supportable when undertaken by big pharmaceutical companies, not small ones.  All of my regular readers appreciate my views on that. 

Madness lies down any other path.

In the real world, great stuff from the Bearded One here and here…