1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
1 comment:
Heck, its Monday and I aint got nuttin butter to do.
It was a beautiful mornin in the trailer park, so I’z gets up outer bad N Inoculatte me’s with some potent Java Joe. I was sittin in my rocker pondering my Intaxication situation while takin in the serene view from my porch of the Bozone layer rising up over dem dare Hills.
My Osteopornosis had been actin up sumthin ferrous and had my lower back in some sort of spasmic kink. Anywho, I was supposed to be meetin up with my real-estate ignoranus aka county coroner Billy Bob Joe lader in the day to sign a cashtration loan on me a spankin new trailer with some nice modern art giraffiti decorating the beer can shiny tin roof .
Then I figure I’d head over to the Dairy Queen to celebrate for a lick and try out some foreploy stan-isums on some a da girlies over dare. Doe’s Girlies sure do like my sarchasm and silver tongued fandagglin.
Then it is back to the homestead to get write with God and consider the possibilities of my reintarnation after life N back again experiential spiritual transformation.
Hopes Y’all have a real goood Monday now, and don’t let one of dose mushrooms sneak up yer pant leg and slap ya silly up side da head.
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